Sunday, November 30, 2008

Truly, Deeply, Sadly

Tired.

Truly, Deeply, Sadly, Tired.

And although I would like to say that 'At least it's finally over', I have a feeling that in many ways, it has only just begun. At least for me.

But at least it is over for her.
As of 7:15 A.M. on Saturday, November 29, 2008.

I think I am mostly still numb at the moment. Relieved, in many ways. That she is no longer suffering, no longer literally trapped immobile in that body.

But I felt my own pain start to awaken today. It will be a huge loss in my life, that I know. One that I can't imagine ever being filled. Yet, at the same time, I feel very lucky. Lucky to have had such a wonderful Mom. Lucky that my children have had such a wonderful grandmother living literally next door for so many years.

And so, we will grieve her. And miss her. For we have no other choice. For our loss.

But I am truly deeply happy to know that when Mom opens her eyes again, she will be with my Dad. Free of that hospital bed. And he, free of his wheelchair. Both of them together again. Where they belong.


Rest peacefully, Mom. You deserve it.

5 comments:

tam said...

mmc....I sent you a personal message.

much love.
tam

Kris, in New England said...

Michelle - I only have hugs from New England - but I assure you they are quite strong and powerful.

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry.

Punkys Dilemma said...

{{{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Michelle, I can so relate to what you're feeling right now. Everything is still so raw for you. Your mother is no longer in pain. And you, my dear will also start your healing. It hurts like crazy right now. But in time, you'll remember only the lovely things about your mom and your relationship with her. And you'll smile everytime you think of her. That's how I think of my mom now. There's times when I miss her so much. But I know too that one day we'll all be together again.

balancing act said...

Michelle,

So sorry to read of your loss. I had trouble getting onto your site and just now reading the news. I am sure you are going through your own recovery of mind and soul. Hugs prayers to you and your family.

MMC said...

Thank you ladies. All of you.
I do appreciate it.